What to Do When You're Triggered: How to Create a Trigger Plan With Your Therapist
Triggers are part of life—especially if you’re healing from trauma or navigating anxiety. But just because they’re common doesn’t mean they have to send you into a tailspin.
You’ve probably been there: One moment you're fine, and the next you're spiraling—heart racing, thoughts racing, saying or doing things you regret. And when it's over, you're left wondering, Why did that hit me so hard? And how do I stop this from happening again?
This is where a trigger plan comes in.
Creating a trigger plan with your therapist can be one of the most powerful tools for grounding yourself in moments that feel anything but safe. It’s a plan for what to do before, during, and after a trigger—so you don’t feel so at the mercy of your nervous system.
Let’s walk through what that actually looks like.
What Is a Trigger Plan?
A trigger plan is a personalized, proactive strategy for managing emotional triggers. Think of it like a fire drill for your nervous system: you map out exactly what to do when your body and brain go into survival mode.
A good trigger plan includes:
Identifying your triggers
Recognizing early warning signs
Tools to ground yourself in the moment
Steps to take after the trigger passes
Ways to communicate with others when you’re activated
It’s not about avoiding every trigger (which often isn’t possible). It’s about knowing what to do when they inevitably show up.
Why Moms Especially Need This
Motherhood is beautiful—and also deeply triggering. It brings up unresolved trauma, unmet needs, perfectionism, and an avalanche of responsibility. Add in sleep deprivation, sensory overload, and pressure to get it all right… and of course your nervous system is going to react.
Many moms I work with tell me:
"I feel so guilty when I yell, but I can’t seem to stop."
"I shut down when things get too loud or chaotic."
"I don’t even realize I’ve been triggered until I’m already spiraling."
A trigger plan helps break that cycle. It creates space between the trigger and the reaction, so you can respond in ways that feel more aligned with who you want to be—not just who your nervous system defaults to in the moment.
Step 1: Identify Your Common Triggers
Start by noticing what situations, people, or feelings tend to set off a stress response. These might be external (like your child screaming) or internal (like feeling ignored or powerless).
Some common triggers for moms include:
Feeling criticized or judged
Sensory overload (noise, mess, chaos)
Being touched constantly
Feeling like you're failing or can't meet everyone’s needs
Your child’s tantrums or meltdowns
Transitions or changes in plans
You don’t have to catch every trigger—but becoming more aware of your big ones is the first step to reclaiming your power.
Step 2: Recognize Your Early Warning Signs
Triggers don’t always come out of nowhere. Most of us have subtle signs that our nervous system is gearing up for fight, flight, freeze, or fawn—if we’re paying attention.
Early signs might include:
Muscle tension (clenched jaw, tight shoulders)
Irritability or snapping
Racing thoughts or zoning out
Feeling hot, shaky, or breathless
The sudden urge to escape or control the situation
Your therapist can help you track these patterns and decode your nervous system’s cues. The goal is to recognize when you’re heading toward overwhelm before you hit the red zone.
Step 3: Choose Your Grounding Tools
This is where the magic of your trigger plan lives: What can you do in the moment to regulate your nervous system and anchor back into your body?
Grounding tools might include:
Breathwork: Try box breathing or 4-7-8 breathing
Sensory resets: Splash cold water on your face, hold an ice cube, step outside for fresh air
Movement: Shake out your hands, do a wall push-up, go for a walk
Mantras: Repeat something like "I’m safe. I can handle this."
Visual cues: Post calming reminders or photos nearby
Your therapist can help you test what actually works for you—because this isn’t one-size-fits-all.
Step 4: Create an Aftercare Plan
Triggers don’t just affect us in the moment. The emotional hangover can linger for hours (or days). An aftercare plan helps you re-center, repair, and reflect after you’ve been triggered.
Your aftercare plan might include:
Taking space to journal or rest
Doing something soothing (like a shower, cup of tea, or calming playlist)
Reconnecting with your child or partner if there was conflict
Talking it through with your therapist
Offering yourself compassion: "That was hard—and I did my best."
This part is so important. Aftercare is where healing happens.
Step 5: Communicate Your Plan
Triggers don’t happen in a vacuum. Let trusted people in your life know what helps—and what doesn’t—when you’re triggered.
You might say:
"When I start getting overwhelmed, I might need a few minutes alone."
"If I’m short with you, it’s probably not about you—it’s a signal I need to regulate."
"Please don’t try to fix it in the moment. Just remind me to breathe."
Your therapist can help you script these conversations and practice them.
What Happens When You Actually Use Your Trigger Plan
Here’s what moms have told me:
"I snapped yesterday, but I caught it quicker than usual. That’s a win."
"I used my grounding tools and got through a hard moment without yelling."
"I’m learning to come back to myself instead of spiraling."
A trigger plan won’t make your emotions disappear—but it will help you navigate them with more skill, more grace, and more self-compassion.
And the more you practice it, the more your nervous system learns: We’re safe now. We know what to do.
You Deserve to Feel Safe in Your Own Body
If you’re constantly feeling overwhelmed, reactive, or ashamed of how you respond in tough moments—it’s not because you’re broken. It’s because your nervous system is doing its job… it just might need some updated instructions.
Therapy can help you write those new instructions. And a trigger plan is one of the most empowering places to start.
💜 Ready to Feel More in Control?
If triggers are running the show in your day-to-day life, let’s change that. Together in therapy, we can create a personalized trigger plan that helps you feel more grounded, more capable, and more like yourself again.
✨ I offer free 15-minute consults so we can talk about what you’re navigating and how I can help.
👉 Click here to schedule your free consult
You don’t have to live at the mercy of your triggers. Let’s build the support you need to feel safe inside your own skin again.
