When Scrolling Hurts: How Social Media Can Trigger Trauma Responses
You pick up your phone to take a quick break.
Just a few minutes to decompress. Maybe check in on friends, watch something funny, catch a glimpse of what’s going on outside your four walls.
But twenty minutes later, you don’t feel better. You feel...off.
Irritated. Inadequate. Overwhelmed. A little shut down. Maybe like you’re not doing enough, not being enough. Maybe like you’re somehow behind.
And you wonder—why does this always happen?
Let’s talk about it.
Social Media Is Not Neutral
We like to think of social media as a tool. Something we control. But the truth is, it’s carefully designed to trigger emotional responses. And when you have a history of trauma—big, little, or chronic—those emotional responses can hit a lot deeper than you expect.
Sometimes the scroll doesn’t just spark comparison or FOMO. It activates something in your nervous system. And suddenly you’re not just annoyed or discouraged—you’re flooded.
How Social Media Triggers Trauma Responses
Here’s what I see all the time in my work with moms:
You’re managing so much. Your nervous system is already stretched thin. And then you scroll—and see:
A perfectly curated photo of a mom with spotless white furniture and three smiling kids. A viral video shaming a parenting choice you made yesterday. An old friend living a life you thought you’d have by now.
Boom. You're activated.
And it might look like:
Comparing yourself and spiraling into self-criticism
Feeling like you’re failing, even though nothing changed
Getting defensive or ragey and not knowing why
Dissociating and suddenly feeling numb or disconnected
That rising, anxious feeling that’s hard to name but hard to shake
It’s not just in your head. Your body remembers what it’s like to be judged, rejected, unseen, or not good enough. And even though it’s “just a post”... it lands in an old, tender place.
Why This Especially Affects Moms
Moms are expected to do everything, be everything, and look good doing it. We’re navigating postpartum hormones, sleep deprivation, and often completely new identities. And social media can throw all of that into overdrive.
It tells us:
Your house should be clean.
Your body should bounce back.
Your kids should eat kale and never throw tantrums in Target.
Your marriage should be thriving.
You should love every moment—or else you’re ungrateful.
And when your real life doesn’t match what you’re seeing online (because it’s not supposed to), your nervous system takes that gap and interprets it as a threat.
A threat to your worth.
A threat to your belonging.
A threat to your safety.
Trauma Responses Aren’t Just “Big Feelings”
Let’s break this down for a second. A trauma response isn’t just an emotional reaction—it’s a nervous system response. It’s your body saying: “We’ve been here before, and it wasn’t safe.”
That might show up as:
Fight — You feel irritated, snappy, or ready to argue in the comments.
Flight — You keep scrolling, chasing the dopamine hit or looking for something to distract you from the discomfort.
Freeze — You shut down. Feel numb. Can’t move or respond.
Fawn — You start trying to “fix” yourself. Maybe add ten things to your to-do list so you can finally be “enough.”
And most of the time? You don’t even know it’s happening. You just feel off. And guilty for being off.
What to Watch For
You don’t need to swear off social media forever (unless you want to). But you do need to know what your unique red flags are.
Here are a few signs the scroll is activating your trauma, not relaxing you:
You log off feeling worse than when you started
You notice a sharp shift in your mood, energy, or body
You find yourself judging others—or yourself—harshly
You feel the urge to fix, prove, perform, or hide
You physically feel tension, a drop in your stomach, or shallow breathing
Awareness is everything here. Once you name it, you can choose something different.
What You Can Do Instead
When you notice you’ve been triggered, your job isn’t to judge yourself—it’s to care for yourself.
Try this:
Pause. Set your phone down. Name what you’re feeling. “I’m activated right now.”
Breathe. Try a few grounding breaths. Feel your feet. Bring yourself back to the moment.
Redirect. What would feel regulating right now? Maybe music, movement, water, or texting a friend who makes you feel safe.
Reflect. Was there a specific post or theme that activated you? What story did it stir up?
Recenter. Remind yourself: Social media is a highlight reel. You’re allowed to be a full human, not a filtered one.
Sometimes just this awareness is enough to interrupt the spiral.
Other times, especially when trauma is unprocessed, it can keep happening no matter how careful you are. That’s where deeper work comes in.
How Therapy Can Help
If you find yourself consistently impacted by what you see online—or just feeling raw and reactive more often than not—there might be something deeper underneath it.
Therapy can help you:
Understand what your triggers actually are
Reprocess old wounds that are getting activated in the present
Build nervous system regulation tools so you don’t feel so reactive
Practice self-compassion instead of self-criticism
Develop boundaries with social media that protect your peace
We’re not meant to live with our defenses up all the time. And healing doesn’t mean you never get triggered—it means you know what to do when you are.
You’re Not Broken—You’re Responding to Overload
If social media leaves you feeling like you're somehow not doing enough, not being enough, or not coping well enough—it’s not a personal failing.
It’s a system that preys on our insecurities and nervous systems.
You’re allowed to protect your peace.
You’re allowed to unfollow or mute.
You’re allowed to need a break.
And you’re allowed to ask for support if the scroll keeps leading to spirals.
Want Help Untangling the Noise?
If you’re ready to understand your triggers, regulate your nervous system, and feel more grounded—especially in a world that constantly overwhelms—you don’t have to do it alone.
I offer free 15-minute consults so we can talk about what you’re navigating and how therapy can support you.
Click here to schedule your consult.
You deserve to feel safe in your own mind again. Let’s work together to make that happen.
