Always Behind: Why So Many Moms Feel This Way Right Now (And How Therapy Helps)
You know the feeling: the laundry's piling up, your inbox is full, your toddler needs you, and somehow, you're supposed to also take care of yourself, maintain relationships, and pursue personal goals. It’s like the to-do list grows faster than you can cross things off.
You look around and wonder, "Why does everyone else seem to be handling it better? Why do I feel like I’m always behind?"
If that’s you, I see you. And I want you to know: You’re not lazy, broken, or failing. You're likely carrying more than anyone realizes. And that feeling of being "behind" isn’t just about time management. It’s emotional. It's psychological. And it’s often tied to trauma, anxiety, and unrealistic expectations placed on mothers.
Let’s unpack what’s really going on and how therapy can help you feel like yourself again.
The Invisible Load Moms Carry
Before we even touch the surface of feeling behind, we have to name the massive, often invisible mental load that comes with motherhood.
You’re not just managing tasks. You’re:
Remembering appointments, birthdays, school dress-up days
Anticipating meltdowns and packing snacks to prevent them
Monitoring everyone’s emotional climate
Replaying that one conversation you had with your kid and wondering if you handled it the right way
Trying to keep the house semi-functional
All while working, parenting, cooking, cleaning, maybe even caregiving for others and trying to maintain some semblance of a life.
Of course you feel behind. Because this level of effort is unsustainable without support.
Why It’s Not Just About Productivity
You might think, “If I just had better systems, I’d feel more on top of things.”
But feeling behind isn’t always solved with color-coded calendars or a new morning routine.
It’s deeper than that. Here’s why:
Perfectionism: Many moms (especially high-achieving ones) hold themselves to impossible standards. If everything isn’t done perfectly, they feel like they’ve failed.
Comparison culture: Social media makes it look like other moms have it all together. You’re seeing curated highlight reels and comparing them to your behind-the-scenes reality.
Unprocessed trauma: If you grew up in chaos or in a home where you were expected to be the responsible one, you may carry deep-seated beliefs that you're never doing enough.
Chronic stress: When your nervous system is in overdrive, you lose your ability to plan, prioritize, and rest. You live in fight-or-flight mode, and everything feels urgent and impossible.
Mental health struggles: Anxiety and depression distort your perception. Even when you are keeping up, it feels like you’re not.
So if you’ve tried all the productivity hacks and still feel like you're drowning, that’s not a sign you need to try harder. It’s a sign you need more support.
The Emotional Toll of Always Feeling Behind
When you live in a constant state of "not enough," it wears you down. You start to internalize the belief that you're failing at motherhood or at life.
Here’s how that might show up:
You snap at your kids and feel crushed by guilt afterward
You dread mornings because they feel like the start of another race you can’t win
You avoid rest because it feels unearned
You find yourself crying for no clear reason, or numbing out just to get through the day
You fantasize about disappearing for a weekend or longer
This isn’t about being a bad mom. This is what burnout looks like. This is what happens when the weight of expectations becomes too heavy.
How Therapy Can Help You Catch Your Breath
Therapy doesn’t magically erase the responsibilities. But it can:
Help you challenge the inner voice that tells you you’re failing
Identify what actually matters to you (not what others expect of you)
Unpack the deeper reasons you push yourself so hard
Offer nervous system tools to regulate stress and overwhelm
Teach you how to set boundaries that protect your time and energy
In other words: therapy can help you feel safe, steady, and whole even when life is still full.
And when you stop carrying the weight of shame and perfectionism, you can finally see what you are doing. You’re showing up. You’re trying. You’re loving your family. That matters.
You Deserve to Feel Like You're Enough
You are not behind.
You’re living in a culture that puts an unreasonable burden on moms and then gaslights them when they crumble.
Therapy is not about fixing you. It’s about supporting you as you reclaim your sense of self, redefine what matters, and rewrite the rules you’ve been living by.
You don’t need to hustle harder.
You need to be held.
And I’d be honored to hold space for you.
✨ I offer free 15-minute consults so we can talk about what’s been weighing you down and how therapy can help you breathe again.
Let’s start where you are.
Let’s build something softer.
Let’s remind you that you are already enough.
