Therapy Is Not Selfish: Why Moms Deserve to Take Up Space, Too

How many times have you told yourself:

"Other moms figure it out without therapy. I should be able to handle this."

Or maybe it sounds more like:

"I just need to get through this week, then I can focus on myself."

Or the classic:

"It feels selfish to spend that kind of time and money on me."

If any of those sound familiar, you’re not alone. As a therapist who works with moms, I hear versions of this nearly every day.

Somewhere along the way, we started believing that motherhood is about shrinking ourselves. That our needs are optional. That therapy is indulgent, something reserved for people with more time, fewer responsibilities, or deeper problems.

Let me be clear: therapy is not selfish.

It’s one of the most generous, brave, and impactful things you can do for yourself and your family.

Where the Guilt Comes From

We live in a culture that glorifies self-sacrifice in motherhood. The "good mom" narrative often looks like someone who gives and gives and gives, without ever needing anything in return.

It teaches us that asking for help is weakness. That time spent on ourselves is time stolen from our kids. That rest, therapy, hobbies, and boundaries are luxuries.

But here’s the truth: you can’t give what you don’t have. And when you're running on empty, everyone in the family feels it.

Therapy isn’t about abandoning your family. It’s about learning how to show up in your life with more clarity, capacity, and connection.

What Happens When Moms Don’t Get Support

When you constantly push your needs aside, you start to lose yourself.

You feel snappy with your kids and disconnected from your partner. You start questioning your worth. Your stress builds, your patience shrinks, and the guilt multiplies. You might even wonder if you’re the only one who feels this way.

But you’re not broken. You’re just carrying too much without enough support.

Therapy can offer a space to unpack that weight. To grieve, to reflect, to re-center. To finally hear yourself again.

Therapy Helps You Reclaim Yourself

One of the biggest reasons moms come to therapy is because they don’t feel like themselves anymore.

Maybe you used to be playful, spontaneous, or ambitious and now you just feel like the default parent, stretched thin and constantly overwhelmed. Maybe you’ve forgotten what lights you up. Maybe you’re craving permission to want more.

Therapy gives you space to explore all of that.

You get to be honest. You get to be messy. You get to be more than just a mom.

You get to take up space.

Therapy Also Benefits Your Family

Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean your family suffers. It means they benefit.

When you work through your anxiety, your kids learn it’s okay to ask for help.

When you practice boundaries, they learn how to respect others and themselves.

When you allow yourself to rest, they learn that worth isn’t tied to productivity.

You are the emotional anchor of your household. And when you're steadier, everyone else gets to feel safer, too.

Therapy Is Not a Luxury. It’s a Lifeline.

Let’s stop pretending therapy is some kind of extravagant spa day.

For many moms, it’s a lifeline.

It’s the hour of the week where no one needs you, and you get to untangle the thoughts and feelings you don’t say out loud.

It’s the place where you stop managing and start healing.

It’s where you remember that your needs matter, too.

And yes, it can be hard to find the time. It can be hard to spend the money. But if you’re spending every waking hour trying to keep everyone else afloat, therapy is the place you learn how to stop sinking.

Let Go of the "Selfish" Lie

Selfish means acting with only your own interests in mind.

Therapy is about learning how to care for yourself so you can care more sustainably, intentionally, and joyfully for the people you love.

That’s not selfish. That’s wisdom.

And you don’t have to wait until you hit a breaking point. You’re allowed to want more ease, more peace, and more of yourself back, right now.

Ready to Take the First Step?

If you're done feeling guilty for wanting support, and ready to explore how therapy can help you feel more like yourself again, let's talk.

I offer free 15-minute consults to help you figure out if therapy is a good fit for you, no pressure, no commitment, just a space to talk about what you need.

You deserve support. You deserve to feel whole. And you don’t have to do it alone.